In which city do you work?
Sebastopol, California

What got you into comics and animation?
I've always liked comics... Since I was 7... Mostly I was inspired by the Sunday comics page in the newspaper.

Where do babies come from?
Mommy and Daddy, or sometimes just Mommy, with help from an anonymous Daddy.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Hopefully doing Jane's World comic books full time.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
See Alaska in person.

Does this make me look fat?
Only when you put that pillow up your shirt.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
My new trade paperback that collects the first 6 issues into one book... Mostly because I got someone to proof read it and so I fixed all the typos.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
Charles Schulz, George Herriman, Wynsor McCay, Clint Eastwood.

Does this look infected to you?
I'm not sure, but definitely don't scratch it.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Just do it, but don't wear Nike's. Follow your dream. Write from the heart. Be authentically you.

In which city do you work?
I work in the City of Lost Souls.

What got you into comics?
My pedal extremities.

Where do babies come from?
Faw down da chimbly an catch 'em on firs bounce.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Looking back to see where I was 5 years ago.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
I have yet to press 380 pounds and catch a sixth baby for son Josh to play with.

Does this make me look fat?
Yes it does but if you push the mirror in on both sides that will go away.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
My latest

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
You, Daddy.

Does this look infected to you?
No, don't worry there's nothing wrong. (Pick at it.)

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Industry? Industry? Slamming pistons. Wings over the World. Hydrogen power. Eruptive explosive driving pulsating dynamic machines of the future... uh... what was that question?

In which city do you work?
I don't work in a city. I work in a village.

What got you into comics?
Haircuts. When I was a kid, my barber had stacks of them, and he was real slow, so I always had to wait a while and had plenty of time to read.

Where do babies come from?
Big babies, who then become adults.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
I don't.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
Five more questions after this one.

Does this make me look fat?
No, but that does.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
My kids.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
My friends and family.

Does this look infected to you?
Christ, yes. That'll have to come off.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Don't get caught.

In which city do you work?
brooklyn ny

What got you into comics?
loved them as a kid, so figured a way to make a living out of them.

Where do babies come from?
who's babies? I have none, so "my balls" cant be an accurate answer.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
in a bigger home, with Amanda Conner, not worrying about the bills, looking out the window and commenting on how nuclear explosions look

What do you feel you have yet to do?
make a movie, write a novel, kill a shark with my hands and love everyone.

Does this make me look fat?
like a pig.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
Jonah hex and daughters of the dragon, and the projects near my home where I buy my weed.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
amanda conner, my mom and dad, and paul newman.

Does this look infected to you?
no, just bad lighting.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
shut up and braw you whining bitch!

In which city do you work?
San Pablo City, Laguna, Philippines

What got you into comics and animation?
The girl made me do it. It's true. I was looking for a job that would bring me to America and I thought comics could do it. And I was right. But it took me too long to do it, years in fact, that by the time I was able to get a job in comics and stepped on American soil a couple of years later, the girl had left me and married a Texan.

Where do babies come from?
Eggs, I think.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
In five years I'll see myself where I always have...the mirror.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
I think I have to brush my teeth. It's been two days. After that, I still want to write and pencil on a regular basis.

Does this make me look fat?
Only on Tuesdays.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
My self published comic book Wasted. It's currently being shot as an indie movie.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
David Mazzucchelli, Nestor Redondo, Alex Niño, Alan Moore, Frank Miller, Paul Grist, Geof Darrow, Francisco Coching, Fernando Amorsolo, Juan Luna, Peter Jackson, Richard Taylor, Bruce Springsteen, Mike Kaluta, Berni Wrightson, Mike Mignola, Barry Windsor Smith, Al Williamson

Does this look infected to you?
Infected? It looks dead. And it smells bad. With maggots on it. I hate maggots.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Stuff the stupid questions. Then write or draw, or color. ALL THE TIME. You have to want to do comics so bad that you're willing to sacrifice the time and lots of other things just to do it right. Never be discouraged by setbacks. Just keep on doing it and doing it and doing it until you get it.

In which city do you work?
it's actually more of a small town.

What got you into comics?
the lure of money and endless sex.

Where do babies come from?
hell.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
answering stupid questions from internet websites.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
clean the gutters.

Does this make me look fat?
no, the fact you drink a 64 oz. bottle of coca-cola every day and wear a captain america t-shirt that was too small on you 20 years ago makes you look fat.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
my superman shelf on my bookcase. slowly, but surely, it's coming close to perfection.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
i think if you read my work, none of my influences would be al that proud to have me list them as an influence.

Does this look infected to you?
never do that without a condom again. didn't you ever watch "Oz"?

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
become an inker. no way will technology ever supplant you. ever. seriously.

No city. I live in the countryside, in Mendocino County, CA.

What got you into comics?
My dad and a huge stack of old comics he got from his friends at work. Stuff their kids had grown out of, including old ECs, early Marvel's, lots of great stuff for the late 60s.

Where do babies come from?
Usually from really stupid people, in my experience. With the odd exception.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Spaceship city?

What do you feel you have yet to do?
Finish these ten questions.

Does this make me look fat?
Only in the bum.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
Either Sleeper or Scene of the Crime, depending on what day it is. Often Gotham Central, too, on Saturdays.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
I don't know. Influences are so weird, sometimes you grow out of them, sometimes you always like them, and other times you're influenced without even knowing it. I try as hard as I can not to have any conscious influences.

Does this look infected to you?
Just don't open that attachment file.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Date J-Lo.

In which city do you work?
I work in a suburban town in southwestern Connecticut, actually.

What got you into comics?
I grew up loving comics, and eventually got lucky enough to work in the field. Twenty years later, I still am.

Where do babies come from?
There's this magic garden and some enchanted bees see...

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Rich would be nice. I'll settle for busy and prosperous.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
There's always something new. I hope the ideas never stop coming.

Does this make me look fat?
There's no truly safe answer to that question. If it's any consolation, I like you just the way you are, no matter what.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
Either Gotham By Gaslight, DC's very first Elseworlds (with art by Mike Mignola), Out There with Humberto Ramos, or my 90 issue run as editor of Flash (discovering writer Mark Waid, along the way)

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
Ray Bradbury, Raymond Chandler, Will Eisner, Julius Schwartz

Does this look infected to you?
Um, definitely have that looked at...green-yellow is not a flattering color.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Be tough, be persistent, be ready to wait, but keep trying. Even in slow periods, great talent is always in demand.

In which city do you work?
In which city don't I work? It's the digital age, chimp! But usually, Altadena, CA.

What got you into comics?
My best high school friend Eric Koppisch - he dared me to do my own and I did. But he didn't. What's up with that? I'm gonna go call him.

Where do babies come from?
See, the fact that you're asking me this question is why there are comic-cons. If more comic fans knew this answer, there would not be "Wizard Worlds."

Where do you see yourself in five years?
You see yourself in five years at a psychic's. Otherwise, you see yourself right now.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
Eat breakfast...unless you were talking more metphysically. If you mean career-wise, I still wanna do my own comic start to finish everything - art, lettering, design, writing - and I just started on it. I also want to do DAREDEVIL someday, but Bendis & Maleev just did way too good of a job on it, so I'm going to have to wait a while for it to suck so I can come in and look all brilliant.

Does this make me look fat?
No, but it does make you look stupid, which is far worse when you think about it.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
IT'S A BIRD... my recent graphic novel for DC/VERTIGO will stand the test of time. Loved by everyone outside of comics, barely read by anyone inside of comics, I think it can have a whole second life when comics fans discover it. I'm also so totally in love with the play I co-wrote and directed called N*GGER WETB*CK CH*NK, a comedy about race and identity that starts a national tour in November (www.speaktheaterarts.com). Seeing something live on stage is so much cooler than watching someone read something you wrote.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
Inside - Frank Miller for inspiration, though I really don't write anything like he does, and my fellow MAN OF ACTION buds (www.manofaction.tv). Outside - Francois Truffaut; Drum and Bugle Corps; Ron Carlson; Futurism; Cubism; and all the great artists I've worked with over the years with special love for Teddy H. Kristiansen, Guy Davis, Mike Allred, Kelly Jones, Justin Norman, Tim Sale, Stfano Gaudiano, and my newest ace in the pocket - Becky Cloonan on our new Vertigo book AMERICAN VIRGIN. If you don't have a great artist the work is nearly impossible.

Does this look infected to you?
No, but it does make you look fat, stupid.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Direct a movie.

In which city do you work?
Mostly New York, on some weekends I can be found working in my house out in sparta New Jersey, but most of the time i can be found not working.

What got you into comics?
Originally my father bought me my first Spider-Man, later when I rediscovered comics in my late twenties, it was a pal by the name of Mark Hyacinth who put one in front of me and got me rehooked.

Where do babies come from?
France

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Iraq

What do you feel you have yet to do?
I've yet to work on any of the big iconic characters.

Does this make me look fat?
The question is what can possibly make you look thin?

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
The HEROES book we did for 9-11

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
The Beatles influence everything I've ever done artistically.

Does this look infected to you?
If you show it to me again I'm calling the cops.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Avoid questionnaires like this

In which city do you work?
the city that never sleeps. I mean, the city that never sleeps thats in nevada, that isnt las vegas. actually, I lied, I dont live in a city. I live in a small town that sleeps, but not at the same time I do. hows thats for a stupid answer? youll have to forgive me, Im kind of grumpy tonight ffom lack of sleep; I'm working a tight deadline for NOCTURNALS: A MIDNIGHT COMPANION coming this fall from Green Ronin.

What got you into comics and animation?
my love of stories and characters- the kind that do fantastic things and usually wear some kind of costume ...

Where do babies come from?
i dont know, but I do know they end up at the Island of the Alive in a lab.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
i dont. Im not scheduled to see myself for another 7 years.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
finish this questionairre.

Does this make me look fat?
that would make anyone look a little chunky. try wearing black more often, and you dont always have to tuck your shirt in all the time. let the tail hang free.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
the nocturnals- black planet. it was my first gig writing and illustrating a book I created. very satifying experience, but i was also lucky because marvel bought the publisher before the last issue came out and threatened not to release it unless I renegotiated my contract - I took a little less money in the end to see it come out. there's a place in hell for one more lawyer and his accountant crony... that year I was nominated for an Eisner.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
movies, the people in my life, children's books, pumpkin patches and halloween stores. crime fiction, frank frazetta, hp lovecraft, dashiel hammet, fuedal japan.

Does this look infected to you?
I'm gonna be ill.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
I dont know, but most of the people I know in comics are trying to break out of the industry.

In which city do you work?
NYC.

What got you into comics?
A good-sized comic collection, many lonely hours spent reading said collection as a kid, a weekend father, a lousy home life, a fear of women, a love of the medium, working in a comic shop and meeting people in the industry, the need for further employment, networking at a 1987 San Diego Con,a somewhat steady drawing hand, a sometimes facile imagination, a supposedly decent sense of humor, a lack of talent for doing anything else, a decent amount of alcohol, a lot of good luck, a smidgen of very, very bad luck, laziness.

Where do babies come from?
Anyplace but comic shops.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Answering similarly moronic interview questions like these. And on the same computer because my career is in the toilet and I can't afford a new one.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
I'd like to travel to a few places I've never been (Japan, especially), I'd like to complete a longer-form comic of some size, and I'd like to live in a house with no cardboard boxes in it. Most of the other things I'd like to do would break up my marriage and land me in jail so I just shove those little notions into the small, dusty corners of my skull. Or play Grand Theft Auto.
Actually, I've never played GTA. I'm just trying to get "the kids" to like me, yo.

Does this make me look fat? You mean the stomach?
Fuck, yeah, fatty. You'd better slap a slow-moving vehicle sign on your ass and trundle on home for dinner if you want to make it in time.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
I'd have to say Dork #7 and some of the writing in the Eltingville strips, in regards to my own work. Of my mainstream projects, I'd say World's Funnest, the animal stories I've been doing with Jill Thompson for Dark Horse's horror line, and the animated Supergirl one-shot I wrote with Sarah for DC. I'm not really killer proud of anything I've done, which sounds like self-deprecating bullshit, but you can ask my therapist if I'm kidding.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
Comics-wise: Jack Kirby and Stan Lee showed me that anything you can imagine can be put into a comic. Kurtzman and Elder showed me that humor could be used as a weapon. Gilbert and Jaime Hernandez showed me that your own life and interests can be source material for your comics. Those are the main influences I site, there are scores, at least. Outside comics...cripes, practically everything. Either as a positive influence or a negative one, something to strive for, stay the hell away from, or attack. too many creative people, writers, designers, artists, filmmakers, tv shows, comedians, strip artists, bands, shows -- too many friends, experiences, instances. I'm not very good at targeting this sort of thing succinctly, because there's really no one whose work I've sat down and studiously copied for any length of time since I was a kid tracing 60's and 70's Marvel bullpen artists. and while it sounds mushy, my wife is an incredible influence on my work and my life, as a collaborator, an editor, a friend, someone to bounce ideas off of, a source of information and inspiration. I used to always say "alcohol" when asked this question, but I don't drink much these days and the joke got old, anyway.

Does this look infected to you?
Yeah, but my mother came back from six of those. Don't sweat it, chubbsy.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
First off, don't listen to any crank who tells you any variation of "don't go into comics". Any person who still churns out that cliche is either lazy, unfunny, or a crankpot who isn't happy because he or she hasn't made a lot of money, hasn't got a movie deal or the attention they feel they deserve, or is in a crappy mood for whatever reason. Of course you should try to get into comics, why the hell not? There are plenty of jobs where you might make no money and have no insurance or pension or long-term employment or recognition, so why not at least have fun and do something you want to do rather than something you have to do?

My general, rambling advice would be this (and changes based on whenever I'm asked):
Be smart, be pragmatic and understand that comics is a business as well as an art form and a small part of the entertainment industry. That doesn't mean be money or ego-obsessed. It means watch your back as far as deals and contracts go, and don't quit your day job, unless you work for my cousin. Learn to wear as many hats as possible to expand your arsenal, your ability to work outside of comics and the ability to create comics all by yourself. It's an adult world, full of immature adults, but they often have lawyers and almost everyone I know has been ripped off or mistreated in this business. Tread carefully, read contracts, get outside professional advice if you have to/can, have patience, don't cut your own throat or give anyone a chance to do it for you.

Get the work done. Make comics. Try to get something done every day towards your strip or story or comic, even if it's just ruling lines or erasing or lettering a few panels. Set attainable goals. Inch that bastard forward as best as you can or you'll get depressed as time drags and the work stagnates. I tell you this because I know.

Get the work out there and in front of people by whatever means necessary, mini-comics, the web -- keep it cheap or you'll be working off the debt of a self-published comic along with your tuition loans. Don't rush to get into staples. If you're the genius you hope or think you are, you can always reprint the stuff later, it doesn't disappear). Send the material out to like-minded publishers, and follow their submissions guidelines carefully because THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE THEM. Don't make stupid throat-cutting deals just to get into print. Get honest opinions about your work from people you trust (Not Mom. Mom loves you, hopefully, despite yourself, and she thinks you draw better than Mike Mignola. Mom doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about).

Let your personality flow into your work because that will ultimately separate you from the crowd.

Live cheaply, unless you're a trust fund kid or you're dealing. Or both. Otherwise, buy a lot of ramen. Marry a doctor. Live semi-sanely, watch the hands, don't punch walls or play with broken beer bottles, trust me, you screw up the drawing hand, you will be sorry. Don't drive drunk. I suggest leaving harder drugs alone. If you can't create without stimulation you just might be a no-talent with delusions of grandeur (or just delusions). There aren't too many famous junkie cartoonists, and if you get too skinny your Klingon costume will slip off of you at Dragon Con and all the Stormtroopers will laugh at you.

Have fun. Do the best you can. Hope for the best and expect the least.

Don't ask anyone "How do I get into comics?". Hone that often-asked, much-feared and usually-despised question down to something someone can actually answer. Giving complete advice on breaking into comics can take longer than actually breaking into comics. So ask specific questions, based upon your own needs and experience (or lack thereof) and hope for the best. Keep in mind that you may not receive a reply to this sort of inquiry, or the reply you'd hoped for, some cartoonists don't have the time or inclination to answer these sorts of things, or aren't comfortable giving advice, and you have to respect that. You can look into the matter on your own, too. Search cartooning/art/freelancing/industry websites and newsgroups that discuss the profession of comics, speak to people at conventions, check out industry magazines like Draw, The Comics Journal, Comic Artist, Comic Art, Write Now, etc, for tips and interviews which may shed some light on your situation. If you're too lazy to do the research, you'll probably be too lazy to do the comics.

If you do end up in comics, don't answer stupid interview questions like these, they don't do a damned thing for your career and they'll just slow you down and back up your work schedule and make you feel depressed. I tell you this because I know.

If this helps just one of you out there reading this I would be shocked as shit.

Now go away, you bother me.

In which city do you work?
Tanelorn.

What got you into comics?
A general lack of fitness for honest work.

Where do babies come from?
If you don't know already, it's too late to find out now.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Grayer

What do you feel you have yet to do?
Improve.

Does this make me look fat?
A thinner font would probably be more flattering.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
All of them. So I have an ego; sue me.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
The same ones everybody else in the business has plus my secret weapon, Jim Holdaway [The original artist on the newspaper strip, MODESTY BLAISE].

Does this look infected to you?
Nothing that experimental surgery won't fix.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Do as many mainstream comics as you can if only to nark Warren Ellis. (Hi, Warren). ;-)

In which city do you work?
West Linn, Oregon. Its a suburb about 9 miles south of Portland.

What got you into comics?
My mom was an English teacher and always encouraged me to read, read, read. I was also an only child so I drew a lot to entertain myself. This was in the days before video games, before much in the way of TV, even. Don't know what I would've done in Warcraft or some of these other attention black-holes were around back then. Anyway, Comics provided a medium that involved both reading and drawing.

Where do babies come from?
From fucking. Oh, wait...this is a comic book site interview. Um...babies come from comics. So, read your comics carefully. Don't need anymore unwanted babies in the world.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Hopefully fucking. And making comics.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
Fuck a lot more. And make more comics.

Does this make me look fat?
Yeah, it does. You'll NEVER get laid in that!!

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
My two kids. Guess how I got them? And most every comic I've ever worked on.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
Whew. Almost too many to mention. I'm a voracious reader...always absorbing new attitudes, opinions, outlooks. Joseph Campbell had a huge influence on my earliest work. Still does.

Does this look infected to you?
Yeah, it does. Jesus, who'd you fuck to get THAT?

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Its a much more crowded field than when I broke in. More cutthroat as well. Basically, you're fucked. But that never stops the passionate and the driven now, does it?

In which city do you work?
it's actually more of a small town.

What got you into comics?
the lure of money and endless sex.

Where do babies come from?
hell.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
answering stupid questions from internet websites.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
clean the gutters.

Does this make me look fat?
no, the fact you drink a 64 oz. bottle of coca-cola every day and wear a captain america t-shirt that was too small on you 20 years ago makes you look fat.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
my superman shelf on my bookcase. slowly, but surely, it's coming close to perfection.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
i think if you read my work, none of my influences would be al that proud to have me list them as an influence.

Does this look infected to you?
never do that without a condom again. didn't you ever watch "Oz"?

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
become an inker. no way will technology ever supplant you. ever. seriously.

In which city do you work?
New York City, NY.

What got you into comics?
I read the Sunday comics, ARCHIE and MAD when I was a pre-teen. When I was about thriteen or so I started reading and collecting Marvel and DC and so on.

Where do babies come from?
They come from their parent's house and end up sitting next to me in the restaurant where they cry and cry and cry.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
I will be about halfway through my third graphic novel, RETURN TO CAVE CITY.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
I feel that I have yet to start my third graphic novel, RETURN TO CAVE CITY. Aside from that, I think I've pretty much accomplished all that I want to do in life.

Does this make me look fat?
No, it only accentuates your delicious curves.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
Normally I'm definitely not one to toot my own horn. Most of the time I can barely look at my own work because seeing all the mistakes, misjudgements and outright blown opportunities makes me wince. However, you've caught me in a charitable mood, so I'll say my newest book, TRICKED.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
In comics, I would have to say Dave Sim, though it's out of fashion to say so. I don't agree with any of his theories on religion, politics or gender studies, but as a cartoonist he was always fantastic and had a huge influence on my stuff.

Does this look infected to you?
Yes. That will be $95, please.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Comics will break your heart. Well, I don't know about mainstream superhero stuff, but indy comics will definitely break your heart.

In which city do you work?
Berkeley and Oakland, California.

What got you into comics?
My Dad's comic book collection and a strong desire to fuck off all day long.

Where do babies come from?
People fucking. If people didn't fuck there would be far fewer babies.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
In the same rut that I'm in now.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
Sodomize a drifter.

Does this make me look fat?
Quite.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
Savage Dragon and Nova the Human Rocket.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
Jack Kirby, Herb Trimpe, Steve Ditko, Walter Simonson, Gil Kane, Frank Miller, John Byrne, Bill Watterson, Bill Sienkiewicz, Stan Lee, Archie Goodwin and hundreds more.

Does this look infected to you?
Nah. You're good.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Bring firearms.{

In which city do you work?
Whatever city I'm traveling in at the time.

What got you into comics?
Watching the Spider-Man live action shorts on the Electric Company as a wee little kid.

Where do babies come from?
Beer and bad judgement?

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Maybe selling tacos in Mexico City or something like that.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
Punch out a politician or a clown.

Does this make me look fat?
Unbutton the top button, maybe...

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
Staying drunk for five days straight in San Diego and still making a shitload of money.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
Probably David Axelrod and the skate shoes I'm wearing.

Does this look infected to you?
I take cream and sugar in my coffee, thanks.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Maybe get into professional bowling or something like that. Buy some sketchbooks and only draw squirrels. Steal Bendis' car?

Editor's note: This was originally filled out on August 24th, 2003

In which city do you work?
I work in a town called Southend, on the south-east coast of England. If you ever saw the video for Morrissey's "Every Day Is Like Sunday," then you've seen Southend: the seaside town they forgot to shut down.

What got you into comics?
My dad brought home a copy of COUNTDOWN comic when I was two years old. And that was that.

Where do babies come from?
Me.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
So obscure that you'll wonder why you asked me to do this questionnaire.

What do you feel you have yet to do?
Watch the rest of my hair fall out.

Does this make me look fat?
Colostomy bags make everyone look fat. There's nothing you can do about it.

Which of your projects are you the most proud of?
Probably TRANSMETROPOLITAN. In hindsight, I kind of wonder why I thought it was a good idea to write a 1300-page graphic novel over five years. Also ORBITER.

Who are your influences, inside or outside of comics?
Oh, God. I don't think I have time to list them. Everything's an influence. And mine is probably the same shopping list as everyone else's anyway. Off the top of my head: Jack Kerouac, William Burroughs, Alfred Bester, Philip K Dick, Hunter Thompson, My Bloody Valentine, a bunch of the mid-80s music journalists like Chris Roberts and Simon Reynolds, Lydia Lunch, Dennis Potter, Troy Kennedy Martin...more recently, Aaron Sorkin and David Milch for their dialogue... Tom Wolfe, Peter Greenaway, Mike Moorcock, JG Ballard, David Cronenberg, Nic Roeg... Can I stop now?

Does this look infected to you?
I try not to talk about people's faces like that.

What advice would you give a person trying to break into the industry?
Firstly, if you want to break into comics just to do the company-owned characters, sod off. We have enough people like you in the business as it is. That sort of thing should only ever be a sidebar to your career. Second, focus on getting published, not on where you're getting published. A published book is your calling card. Study the independent publishers yourself -- with the advent of the net, that's a hell of a lot easier to do now than it was when I was starting out. Doesn't matter how small they are; they simply need to be on your wavelength. Your goal isn't loads of money at this point: it's retaining rights and getting 25 copies of the printed book. Because handing over one of those shows another publisher that someone else was prepared to gamble their money on your work. Which makes you a safer bet than the person with a handful of photocopies. That's the trick. But please, in the name of god, have something to say. I want more good comics. Bring the New. Put me out of work.